


jumpstarted

by euphrasiepontmercy



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Gen, i have no freakin clue where i'm going with this but yknow what who cares, idk if anyone will read it anyway, the karaoke scene is an absolute masterpiece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphrasiepontmercy/pseuds/euphrasiepontmercy
Summary: zoey's cousin, musical theatre student victoria evelyn clarke, is working at a karoke bar in between jobs. she's seen her fair share of melodramatic serenades, but she's in no way prepared for this one. (title and chapter titles from jukebox the ghost’s jumpstarted)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 12





	1. strictly business, nothing more

**Author's Note:**

> this is Very Self-Indulgent (I've also written a few screenplays for what her role would be if she was actually part of a future season, this isn't part of that universe-I just wanted her to be part of one of the greatest scenes in television history)

An auburn curl fell in front of the young woman’s face and she flicked it away, looking at the clock for what felt like the thirtieth time that night. It was fourteen minutes to ten, and Victoria Clarke’s shift was almost over. Nothing usually happened on these nights-if she had an audition the next morning, she’d be mentally running through monologues and songs while taking orders, but that was about it. Tonight, though, her cousin and an older woman she didn’t recognize had come in for a drink. Zoey had smiled at her before going to sit down, and Victoria had gone into the kitchen, where she was currently loading appetizers onto a tray.

She stifled a laugh at the sound of the karaoke monitor struggling to pronounce a patron’s name. The opening chords of a familiar Air Supply song floated through the wall- _ damn, this guy must really be going through it _ -and she pushed open the kitchen door with her hip, carrying the tray. The first thing she noticed at the bar was the warm brown eyes of an old friend, looking more on edge than usual. 

“Max!”

He turned his attention away from the stage and his expression of disbelief turned to one of recognition. 

“Tori? It’s good to see you.”

“You too, how is everything?”

He hesitated before inclining his head toward the front of the bar. Victoria followed his gaze and her eyes fell upon the second sight she’d notice upon coming out of the kitchen door: a tall man wearing a cardigan who was pouring his entire soul onto the tiny stage.

_ Huh. _

“Who is that?”

Max sighed.

“That...is my coworker, who was just broken up with by his boss, and who is making an absolute fool of himself.”

_ Okay, this is a lot of information. _ First of all, while his drunken performance was a bit overdramatic, this coworker didn’t seem to be making a fool of himself to her; he had a genuinely nice voice. If only based on the first impression, she realized that she wouldn’t mind being on the receiving end of this serenade- _ oh my god shut up Tori shut up _ . Putting that aside-

“His  _ boss _ ?”

“I don’t know everything about this situation, so I probably shouldn’t say.”

She nodded and started to deliver the appetizers, catching a glimpse of the apparent subject of the song: the woman that had come in with Zoey earlier that night, seeming absolutely... _ how to describe it _ ...horrified. So this was the boss that Zoey had talked about. Victoria made her way through the bar until her tray was empty and carried it back to the kitchen- _ ten minutes to ten. This’ll likely be the last song I hear tonight. No, I’m absolutely not putting things away faster to get out and see the rest of it. Why would I do that? TORI SHUT UP. _

She left the kitchen and took her usual place behind the bar, watching the performance with a mixture of amusement, pity, and  _ definitely not attraction _ . She looked at Max, expecting him to be reacting as well, but he was looking elsewhere-toward her cousin. Zoey was looking back at him with an expression of bewildered loss, as if he was looking at her but not really seeing her. After a few minutes, Max turned back to the bar with a huff.

Victoria had always known of Max’s feelings for Zoey, but she hadn’t seen the two of them like this before. She knew him pretty well-he’d actually been in a few community theatre shows with her when they were in high school and college-and she loved them both, so she thought that as long as she didn’t have to do anything for the rest of her shift, she could try to help.

“What’s going on?”

Max stared into his now-almost-empty glass with daggers in his eyes.

“Nothing.”

Victoria rolled her eyes and rested her arms on the bar, staring her friend down. Max looked up after a moment and met her eye, and she looked at him as if to say she didn’t believe him for a second.

“Fine.”

She nodded and stood back a bit, inviting him to tell her the truth.

“You might not have known this, but-“

“You’re in love with my cousin.”

Max looked at her incredulously before breaking his gaze and saying, almost to himself, “how does everyone know?” Victoria almost laughed.

“You’re not exactly a master of subtlety. The longing glances, the way you would drop everything for her-a lot of people could see it.”

“Everyone but her, it seems.” He was bitter, and Victoria could tell that at this point he could only see through his own eyes.

“What happened?”

“It started”-here he took a breath and looked up at her, preparing for judgement-”with a flashmob.”

Her eyebrows shot up.

“You organized a  _ flashmob _ for  _ Zoey Clarke _ .”

“She didn’t take it well.”

“I can imagine.”

“She started to avoid addressing the subject, telling me about this...other thing in her life. I should have believed her from the start, but it took a while to convince me. I then got my hopes up due to another-well-development in this  _ thing _ , but it also revealed that she had feelings for someone else, and then I got offered this promotion and no one fought to keep me on the fourth floor, which led to this fight, and-let’s just say I don’t necessarily want to be friendly with her at the moment.”

Victoria’s eyes widened as she took all of this in. She let out a breath.

“That’s...a lot.”

Max nodded, still staring into his glass. Victoria couldn’t quite read him at the moment, but she tried to think of something to say.

“Like you said earlier about your boss and coworker, I don’t know everything about the situation, so I can’t really judge,” she said slowly. “What I do know is that you and Zoey are both wonderful people, and you’re definitely going through something.” She paused, wondering whether she should have asked in the first place. “That probably isn’t any help.”

“I don’t know if I even want to continue this relationship. I need to focus on my own happiness.”

“And you are, and that’s great, but you should at least talk to her. You’re trying to tell me and yourself that you don’t care, but I’m looking at you now, and you do. You’ve been friends for  _ five years _ . This relationship is worth it.”

At this point, Max’s eyes had practically burned a hole through the bottom of the glass. She could tell that he was considering what she’d said when he looked up at her, took a breath, and looked back at the stage.

_ Oh, right. That. _

The singer seemed to be barely holding back tears at this point, and the rest of the bar was either captivated by pity or not paying attention at all. Victoria had worked here in between acting jobs since she started college, and she’d seen her fair share of drunken, heartbroken serenades, but this one was by far the most... _ is “entertaining” the right word? Engaging? Soulful? Pathetic? _

Whatever it was, it was still going at full force. He finished another verse and dropped to his knees,  _ actually dropped to his knees _ , gripping the microphone stand like his life depended on it. Victoria heard a faint “oh, God” next to her, but she barely registered it. The sound that escaped her wasn’t quite a laugh or a gasp-somewhere in between-and she quickly tried to cover it.  _ This is one for the books _ .

She looked over to see that Zoey and her boss were gathering their things and making a swift exit. Zoey threw a quick glance in her cousin’s direction as a goodbye, but could barely look away from the expression on her best friend’s face.  _ God, if only Max would look up from the glass and see her now, he wouldn’t have a single reservation about working this out _ .

The older woman was walking ahead of Zoey, shaking her head as if trying to forget everything she’d seen. The singer just kept reaching out as he watched her leave, his voice cracking as he tried not to cry. In all of her years working at this karaoke bar, Victoria had never really been affected by watching someone else’s relationship play out this way, but she had to admit that as strange as it was, this one broke her heart. As she listened to the rest of the song, she had almost forgotten that Max was even there by the time she heard his voice.

“Oh, he’s a mess. I never thought I’d say this, but I actually feel bad for Leif.”

She couldn’t respond, only able to watch the taller man’s face.  _ So that’s his name _ . In her daze, the back of her mind told her that Max’s phone had let out a  _ ding _ , and that he had looked at it and sighed.

“Could...do you...you’re an empathetic person.”

Victoria turned around, unsure what his meaning was.

“Thanks?”

“I really have to go. Your shift’s almost over, right?”

“I-um-”

“Just...” He paused as if unsure of whether this was appropriate to ask of someone, then decided he didn’t care. ”Make sure he doesn’t drink any more. Talk to him or something. Call him a cab once he’s sober enough to get home without crying.”

“I’m...not sure how good of an idea this is.”

“You’ll get along well.”

Victoria stared openmouthed, trying to think of an excuse as Leif crooned out the final line of the song and made his way offstage to the sound of hesitant, sympathetic applause. Max waved him over to where he was sitting at the bar and clapped him on the back once he had dejectedly sat down and taken another swig of the drink in front of him.

“Leif,” Max began, as if talking to a small child, “I have to go take care of something, but I wanted to make sure that you’d be okay. This is Victoria Clarke.”

He looked up at her, and  _ oh no oh god oh no. _

_ His eyes. _

_ How on earth am I going to do this? _

_ Tori. Shut. Up. _

“She’s Zoey’s cousin, and we knew each other in high school before Zoey and I even met at SPRQpoint. She’s very easy to talk to. You’ll be fine.” He left in a rush, almost as quickly as the two women that had gone out the door before him.

Victoria was left standing there, still a bit overwhelmed. She’d been responsible for helping customers find safe rides before, but this seemed much more complicated-her cousin’s best friend had just left her here with his drunk, brokenhearted, not at all attractive  _ TORI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU  _ coworker who had just performed the most melodramatic karaoke she’d ever seen. What was she supposed to do?

Leif looked up at her apologetically.

“Max is just...like that sometimes.”

“Believe me, I know.”

He had a scar slightly below his left eyebrow.

_ Tori, for the love of all that is holy, please shut up. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahahahaha I have No Freakin Clue where this is going. this is the first fanfic I've written in three years so I'm kinda rusty but I hope y'all enjoy it


	2. oh, my poor soul starts flying like a cannonball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deep conversations and more karaoke ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone can spot the reference to another JTG song in this chapter, congratulations. I wrote this instead of doing Actual Work sometimes because, yknow, escapism (uses lyrics to I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness) (and if you haven't yet heard MTG sing that song I *highly* recommend it)

Neither of them were sure what to say.

Her shift was over by now, and she was sitting on the other side of the bar on a stool next to his, stirring a lemonade with a straw (she didn’t think it would be wise to have anything alcoholic, considering that her brain was already spinning every time they made eye contact  _ oh my god Tori stop it _ ).

“You, uh…”

He looked at her again.

_ Those eyes, damn those eyes-Tori, this is going to be a very long conversation if you take forever to even say a word. Just say SOMETHING. _

“You have a really nice voice.”

He seemed a little taken aback and took a moment to process what she was saying before laughing humorlessly and looking back at the last few drops in his glass.

“Thanks.”

A few more seconds passed.

_ SAY ANOTHER THING. _

_ TORI OH MY GOD PLEASE BE A FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEING. _

_ Just be honest. _

“I think Max expected me to act as your therapist or something, but seeing as I don’t exactly know a lot about the situation, I’m not really sure how to start.”

Leif drank whatever was left in his glass and set it down.

“You don’t have to be my therapist.”

He said the last word with an edge of understandable resentment, although she was sure it was directed more towards Max than to her.

“I just-”

She looked at him again, not having expected him to actually tell her anything.

“How much do you know?”

_ Dear God, it’s like he’s staring straight into my soul. How can he do that-how can he look at someone, really look at them this many times, and in a different way each moment? What on earth had happened to him? _

She sighed and hesitantly recited what she knew.

“Max only told me that you’re heartbroken because your boss broke up with you.”

Leif stared straight forward and nodded with a face of stone.

“Anything else?”

She shook her head. A few more moments of silence passed before he spoke again.

“I don’t even know how much he knew. All he said was that Zoey told him about it. She-she saw-”

He took a breath, and Victoria could see the gears turning in his mind as he tried to figure out how to tell the story.

“I didn’t expect it to pan out this way at all. I know you’re Zoey’s cousin, which makes this awkward if it wasn’t already, but I  _ swear _ that I deserved that manager position.” He shook his head before going on. “Everyone from the fourth floor was at an engagement party for a coworker. A lot of us were drunk, Joan most of all.”

“She’s your boss?”

He nodded again with eyes that could only be described as  _ tortured _ .

“I almost  _ jokingly _ ,” he said as if it was hard for him to admit, “came up with this idea for a new product. I didn’t think she’d actually go for it, but we spent the rest of that night at the office planning its functions, a prototype, the required code…” He started to smile for the first time that night, falling back into the memory. Victoria felt the need to take a mental snapshot of that moment-the lighting, his hand on his neck, his cardigan sleeves folded up a little, his slight and lopsided smile, and the way his eyes lit up with nostalgia. Something in the depths of her mind told her that this sight would stick with her for a long time.

“There are a lot of details that I don’t remember about that night, but I’ll never forget how it felt.” He was quiet for a few moments, as if coming back to the present and to the story he was telling. “This product, the Chirp-that was my chance. It’s revolutionary; it could change technology forever, and she and I would have been the ones associated with it.”

Leif seemed like he was about to continue, but he suddenly stopped himself and glanced at Victoria again, looking at her as if reminding himself who he was telling this to. He blinked, and his face became stone again. The next words he said were slowly spoken and carefully pronounced.

“I was under the impression-and a fair part of me still thinks-that Zoey got the promotion mainly because she and Joan are the only women in the fourth floor office.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I know it sounds bad. I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of.”

He looked at her again, his eyes- _ DAMN THOSE EYES _ -asking whether he’d lost her sympathy. She asked herself that as well, and was surprised to find that he hadn’t, at least not fully. She should have been furious-he had obviously held sexist mindsets at some point, and this was her  _ cousin _ he was talking about, hardworking and honest Zoey who’d never cheated or accepted special treatment in her life-but she looked at him and saw that there was more of a story behind this. She cautiously tilted her head and motioned for him to continue.

“I thought that if she got ahead by dishonest means-”

“-which she absolutely did not-”

“-that I might be able to, if you know what I mean.”

Victoria’s eyes widened and she turned back toward her lemonade, taking a long sip.

“What I didn’t expect was that I would actually fall in love with Joan.”

_ This is practically a soap opera. _

“I thought things were going”-here he cleared his throat, almost seeming to choke back more tears-”really well. It was the happiest I’d been in a long time, but apparently she hadn’t seen it that way. One night, we were the last two in the office, and she sprung it on me that Zoey had somehow figured out how I felt and told her…” He took a breath. “Have you noticed that she’s become way more insightful lately? Or-has she mentioned watching anyone’s vlog?”

Victoria had to take a moment to process.

“First of all, we haven’t gotten to spend that much time together lately. I know that Uncle Mitch’s illness is having a huge effect on our family, and they were always really close, so that might have something to do with it. Second of all-you have a  _ vlog _ ?”

“It’s password protected.”

That statement came very quickly after the one before it. During the silence that followed, Victoria had to push away the mental image of Leif ranting about something into a camera, with that smile of his and a gleam in his blue eyes  _ TORI SHUT UPPPPPPPPP he’s literally crying right next to you. _

What was wrong with her?

_ A lot. Far too much for me to be giving people advice as often as I do, far too much for people to be coming to me with their problems. What do they even see in me? _

“I-”

Leif turned to her again.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with romantic relationships.”

He furrowed his brow.  _ Is that surprise in his expression? No. Not at all. Stop jumping to conclusions. The lighting in here is weird, that’s all. _

She’d thought that she didn’t know what to say a few minutes ago, but at this moment she truly had no clue. She didn’t know him, not really, no matter how much she felt drawn to him.  _ It’s not just attraction, I swear there’s something else-not now, Tori, not now. _ This was an extremely precarious situation and she was afraid that any word she’d say would only make things worse.

Luckily, she didn’t have to say anything.

“When I said earlier that you didn’t have to be my therapist, I meant it.”

_ Oh god, have I made things worse already? _

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like you needed one, I do that sometimes-”

“It’s fine,” he said as he shook his head and smiled a little- _ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _ -as if not expecting her to react that way, “it’s...fine. I shouldn’t have unloaded all of this on you anyway; that’s not even the half of it.”

_ Just leave it there. Say goodbye and call him a cab. If you let him talk any more, you’ll fall even deeper into this. Don’t. Get. Involved. _

“You can tell me if you want. I’ve heard a lot of people vent; it’s kind of in the job description.”

_ Shit. _

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. There’s no such thing as a meaningless experience. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to; I’m just here for you if you do.”

_ Tori you have literally known this man for FORTY MINUTES what are you doing- _

Leif waved his hand, simultaneously dismissing his own thoughts and bringing her out of hers, and tried to sum up the rest of what had happened.

“Oh, the same old story. Heartbreak, lobster buffets, corporate espionage.”

“Just your everyday stuff.”

She cracked a smile and he managed one as well- _ God, I’m done for _ -before letting it fall.

“I need to apologize to him.”

“What?”

“I feel like I’ve been using my best friend. The, uh, corporate espionage. There’s now a competition between floors to get the Chirp done, and I moved floors to give him the code I’m currently working on, but I’m not doing it for him.”

“...Wow.”

“I know. I hate to say this, but it might be my own arrogance that got us into this anyway.” Leif was smiling somewhat as he said this, as if in denial, but his blue eyes had turned to ice.

Once again, she didn’t know what to say. He went on, and she prayed that he would say something that redeemed his actions.  _ Maybe I’m not as done for as I thought. No, at least he’s recognizing what he’s doing-but who am I to judge him? _

“The worst part is, I might not even remember that I realized this. I could just wake up hungover in the morning with a vague memory of alcohol and Air Supply and go right back to Joan, not even thinking of…”

He looked at her again.

_ Of this conversation? _

_ Of me? _

She shook her head.

“Your conscience won’t leave you. You deserve to be loved fully and absolutely, and whether or not you’ll wake up remembering that I said that, I hope it sticks somewhere, because it’s unequivocally true.”

He blinked. Another silence passed, but neither of them looked away this time.

“Not to sound like a therapist or anything,” Victoria laughed nervously, afraid that she’d said something too heavy.

He shook his head and stared into space, still a little bit in shock.

“No one’s ever…”

_ Was this the first time anyone had told him that he deserved to be loved? _

He looked back up.

“I really don’t want to forget you.”

Now it was her turn to be shocked.

“No one’s ever told me that, either.”

Leif cocked his head, as if inviting her to speak further.

In all of her years as an actress, Victoria had a lot of experience telling other people’s stories. In her time as a bartender, she’d heard plenty of stories from patrons who ranted without thought of who was listening. She had always been the friend that everyone came to when they needed an ear.

This was the first time that someone was asking her about her own story.

“Uh-”

Looking at him, she felt her throat grow dry. Faced with a rare moment when someone genuinely wanted to know about her, she wasn’t even sure how to start. Trying to gain courage, she knocked back the rest of her lemonade as if it was something stronger and took a breath. _ Okay, then _ .

“Well, I’ve never known what it feels like to be wanted, if that’s something; like I said, I have zero experience with romantic relationships. I have some wonderful friends, but I often wonder if I’m good enough for them, and when it comes to the others, I feel like I’m only seen as the ‘therapist friend’. My parents are supportive, but they argue about my career constantly, as if I don’t have a say in it. To top it all off, tonight I may have accidentally fallen-”

_ Waaaaaaait a minute, pump the brakes. Remember who you’re talking to. _

She looked back at Leif, terrified, expecting him to be running for the hills.

He wasn’t.

He was just...looking at her.

Listening.

She felt a flash of overwhelming self-consciousness, but it was accompanied by a whispering current of  _ this is right, this is how it’s supposed to be _ .

“Sorry. I don’t have a lot of experience with venting, so I’m probably not very good at it.”

“Likewise.”

He smiled and shook his head, looking away from her  _ as if unable to let himself stare any longer? No, that’s impossible. He’s drunk, it’s late, you happened to be there for each other right now. Nothing else is happening. _

“Next up, we have, uh...Ethan Ramirez.”

The karaoke moderator’s voice snapped both of them out of their thoughts. They turned to the stage, where a short man with glasses had walked up and grabbed the microphone as if he owned it. Victoria had seen Ethan here a lot; he came here often and always did karaoke. A familiar guitar riff filled the bar, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise as the patrons, most of whom were drunk by now, started dancing along in their seats.

“Well, this has never happened before.”

She looked over at Leif and noticed a glint in his eye that she hadn’t yet seen-one of recognition-as the first verse began.

“ _ Can’t explain the feelings that you’re makin’ me feel! _ ”

For all of his bravado, Ethan was glaringly off-key. He was headbanging to the skies, and the rest of the bar seemed to get into it almost as much as the singer himself. Victoria grinned, unable to keep a small cringe out of her expression, and Leif turned back to her, obviously reacting in the same way.

“Was I that bad an hour ago?”

A genuine laugh escaped her, much as it did when he dramatically dropped to his knees.  _ That feels like ages ago. _ She listened to the next line, as if deciding on an answer.

_ “My heart’s in overdrive and you’re behind the steering wheel!” _

“Absolutely not. In fact,” she took a moment to consider, “you’d probably sound a lot better on this song than he does.”

Leif looked back up at the stage and around at the people at their tables who were already singing along at full force, and Victoria could tell that he was regaining a sort of confidence. She’d always been a firm believer in the idea that there’s nothing to bring a bruised self-perception back up like belting your heart out in front of a group of complete strangers (who happened to be appreciative of any entertainment, drunk as they were).

She hummed along with the “ _ ah, ah _ ”s, as she always did with this song, but what she wasn’t expecting was the “ _ touchin’ you _ ” that came from the voice of the man sitting next to her. Fully vocalizing the next “ _ ah _ ”, she looked at him quizzically. He grinned back at her and flipped into falsetto-” _ touchin’ me _ ”-and by now people were standing up and fully dancing to the song, so they did too, and  _ oh my god we’re singing an impromptu duet this is straight out a fanfiction TORI STAY FOCUSED!!! _

“ _ Ah, ah-” _

_ “Touchin’ you, God, you’re touching me!” _

By now the bar was in full community, every voice raised without caring how they sounded. These moments were Victoria’s favorites; as inconvenient as they seemed to her coworkers, they made the little karaoke bar on the corner feel completely alive to her.  _ Also-dear God, this man can sing _ .

The chorus rang out. Ethan was absolutely  _ living _ on that stage, believing that he was practically a rock star. People were shouting the lyrics, raising their glasses, leaning on each other; it was like a scene out of a movie. Victoria became aware that at some point she had started dancing with Leif-they were twirling each other around in turn, each with the biggest smile they’d ever seen.

Then she heard him sing the first line of the second verse.

Time stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I've never written a cliffhanger before-idk when another update is coming, I have a general idea of what's coming next but We'll See. hope you enjoyed!!


	3. what goes up must come down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> split-second decisions are made, repercussions are dealt with, cousins are consulted, salads are eaten, and powers are revealed.

She wasn’t completely sure how it happened.

“ _ I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day! _ ”

He had been looking  _ directly at her _ , belting into his hand as if he was holding a microphone.

That was the last thing she remembered. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know when, she didn’t even know what she was thinking, but at some point she had grabbed his collar and fulfilled the lyrical request.

At some point after that, she had come to her senses.

_...what have I done? _

She pulled away quickly and felt a soft brush against her cheek- _had he put his hand to my face?_ _No-NO. He couldn’t have._ The self-doubt had returned.

“I-I’m so sorry.”

She couldn’t read him. His hand was still raised in midair, and hers were up in a gesture of surrender, as if she’d just knocked something over and was trying to stop it from toppling.  _ Which, in a way, I guess I have. _

He stuttered out an “I-don’t be-it wasn’t-it’s-” and took a step toward her.

She knew that if she stayed in that building another second, she wouldn’t ever want to leave. Only somewhat aware of her surroundings, she grasped for her purse. Her widened eyes darted around to look anywhere but Leif’s face, afraid of what she’d see. She could hear herself stammering out apologies as her mind spun, fully prepared to get  _ out _ , get  _ away, _ get  _ anywhere but here _ -

Then she caught an accidental glimpse of his eyes.

_ The exact same expression he’d had an hour ago. _

_ How? _

She ached, wanting to stay with every bone in her body, but something was pulling her out the door. She tried to say something, tried to make sense of the last few moments, but her mind could only keep replaying the warmth of his cardigan against her arm-“ _ touchin’ you, God, you’re touching me! _ ”-the way his flawless tenor floated high above the noise, the way his eyes looked when he said he didn’t want to forget her.

_ Could this ever be something real? _

Victoria blinked and tried to start a sentence as the fateful song blared in the background.

“I-“

Somehow, actual words came out of her mouth.  _ A miracle. _

“I’m sorry that I ruined it. I...I want to see you again.”

Leif closed his mouth and nodded slightly, still processing. She took one last look and stepped into the cold air of the San Francisco night.

\----

Victoria woke up exhausted. She hadn’t gotten a minute of sleep, haunted by guilt and a heavy dose of good old-fashioned yearning. She was supposed to meet Zoey for lunch that day; maybe that would provide some perspective and help her to sort through this.

An alarm on her phone rang, reminding her that she had class in an hour. There was surprisingly only one today: a Shakespeare seminar and masterclass for seniors in the BFA program. She’d been looking forward to this for a while.  _ A welcome distraction. _

\----

“Victoria Clarke? You’ll be working on a Beatrice monologue. Act three, scene one.”

_ So...maybe this won’t be as distracting as I thought. _

She stood up and walked to the front of the classroom, where she was handed a sheet of paper. Not that she’d be needing it; she’d wanted to play this role since she could remember.

The professor, a tall Black woman with glasses that hung from a chain around her neck, sat down at a table and began her work.

“I’d usually ask who you’re talking to, but what seems more important in this scene is who you’re talking  _ about _ . You don’t have to tell the class, but is there anyone who you’d never expected to even tolerate that you found yourself suddenly falling for?”

Victoria blinked, almost unable to hold back a laugh. She nodded. The professor smiled.

“Keep them in your mind’s eye, and go whenever you’re ready.”

_ Whenever you’re ready. _

\----

A few hours later, Zoey greeted her cousin with a smile as they sat down in a coffeeshop (not their usual one, but Victoria wouldn’t question it).

“I’ve got news for you from SPRQpoint.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Really?”

“Yeah, Joan saw you wave at me last night at the bar and asked who you were. I told her that you were my cousin, and she asked a few more questions about you-probably to get her mind off of that performance-and when I mentioned that you play piano, she said that they had just acquired one for the lobby and she’d recommend you to the building managers to provide some music during your upcoming summer break. It would pay really well.”

The salad and smoothie that Victoria had preordered were delivered to the table, giving her time to think about the opportunity.

“That...well, that sounds amazing. I could always use the money, and there haven’t been that many auditions lately.”

“Great! Do you have any more classes today?”

“No.”

“Come to work with me. I’ll show you around, introduce you to Joan and my coworkers…”

_ Coworkers. _

_ SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT- _

“I...need to tell you something.”

“Fire away.”

Victoria was practically shaking.  _ Do I have to tell her at all? What if she distrusts me because of this? Leif was right, she had been more insightful lately-yeah, I could use her help. _ She still couldn’t face the prospect of looking her cousin in the eye and confessing that she had kissed her sworn rival, especially when Zoey already had an element of confusion in her expression. She looked out the window, trying to think of how to say this- _ nOPE NOPE NOPE. _

Leif was sitting at a table outside the same coffeeshop, eating a panini sandwich. He hadn’t seen either of them.

_ Even more gorgeous in the light of day-TORI, STAY FOCUSED. Tell her the truth; it’s now or never _ . She looked down at her chicken caesar, took a deep breath, and-

“LastnightMaxhadtoleaveandhetoldmetomakesureLeifwasokayandwetalkedandhetoldmeeverythingandhewasoneofthefirstpeoplewhoactuallylistenedtomeventtooandhe’sdefineitelynotperfectbutyoucantellthatheknowsitandhewasabsolutelyheartbrokenbutourconversationseemedtohelpandthensomeonewentupandsangIbelieveinathingcalledloveandweweredancingandhewassingingandIwasn’tthinkingandIkissedhimandbasicallyranawayandIknowwe’veonlyspentlikeanhourtogetherbutImightbefallingforhimandIhavebarelyacluewhathethinksofmebuthesaidhedidn’twanttoforgetmeandIdon’tknowifIruineditIprobablyruineditbutIdon’tknowhowtoproceedwiththisandI’dhavetoseehimalotifIworkedatSPRQpointsoI’mreallynotsurewhattodoaboutthatdoyouhaveanyadvice?”

She sucked in a breath and looked up at Zoey, who was looking at her in a way that was similar to how she’d looked at Max earlier last night: like she wasn’t completely present.

“Zoey?”

The older cousin was startled out of her reverie, her eyebrows raised in stark disbelief.

“You’re...you’re in love with Leif.”

Victoria sighed and slowly nodded, bringing on a quizzical glance from her cousin.

“I didn’t think you’d admit it so quickly.”

“What do you mean? I already admitted it.”

“You did?”

“I...just told you what happened last night? It would make sense if you didn’t hear all of it, you know how I talk really quickly when I get nervous-”

“Oh-right-you absolutely did. That’s just exactly what happened. Nothing else.” Zoey shut herself up by taking a large bite of her croissant, and now she was the one with a quizzical glance aimed at her.

“Is there something else going on?”

Victoria watched her cousin’s bright blue eyes working through her brain, as if trying to resist saying something and eventually deciding against it.

“I could use your help with something, and I’m not sure whether you’ll believe me, but you’d be more likely to than some of the others I’ve told.”

_ Is this the “thing” Max was talking about? _

“You can tell me anything.”

\----

“...Wow.”

“Yeah.”

They were walking to the SPRQpoint office, and Zoey had spent the last fifteen minutes explaining the most unbelievable situation Victoria had ever heard, but it couldn’t help but be believed. Zoey wasn’t the type to lie about anything, especially something like this.

“You’re a musical theatre person, and my neighbor Mo-who I really need to introduce you to, you’d get along great-is helping me a lot with this, but I’d also really appreciate your perspective as someone who’d be spending more time at work with me and my coworkers. I hope this isn’t asking too much.”

“Not at all. This is honestly fascinating to me. I just have one question-”

“Of course.”

“What did this have to do with the coffeeshop?”

There was a pause, and Zoey looked at her cousin, unsure of how to tell her the truth.

“Did I sing something?”

She nodded, and Victoria looked forward, somewhat mortified. Her next sentence came out in a small voice.

“What was it?”

“There’s this woman whose music you always recommended to me, I don’t really remember who it was-I think she has our last name.”

“Dodie?”

“That’s it.”

“What was the song?”

“There was a ukulele in there somewhere…”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“There was joy in it, but also this...nervousness, too. ‘I’ll never let you go’ was repeated pretty often.”

“‘Absolutely Smitten’?”

“I think so.”

“Oh, God.”

“You had said you had something to tell me, then you looked out the window and saw  _ him _ sitting there.” The pronoun was pronounced in the back of her throat, as if she still had a hard time believing that anyone could feel that way about him. “You flew out of your chair and left the coffeeshop, dancing around him like some sort of lovestruck Disney princess. By the time you’d gotten back to your seat, I’d figured out what you were trying to tell me.”

Victoria stared forward and let out a breath.

“So...what do I do about it?”

“What do you mean? You don’t have to tell him or anything.”

This was her last chance to withhold the embarrassment.  _ No going back now _ . She could barely speak; she could only mutter, almost to herself, “...too late.”

“What?”

“I...may or may not have kissed him at the karaoke bar last night.”

Zoey stopped dead in her tracks.

“Why on Earth would-what?  _ Why? _ Also,  _ what? _ ”

“I don’t know!! We’d had a really nice conversation, he was one of the first people to actually want to know my story when he’d told me his, it was late and the entire bar was singing and he looked straight at me and  _ he can sing, Zoey, God, can he sing _ and suddenly I was kissing him, and then I wasn’t, and I was mortified. I don’t know what I’d ever say to him. And his  _ eyes _ -Zoey, you’ve seen his eyes.”

“Oh, I’ve seen his eyes. They’re cold and malicious, Tori, and you shouldn’t trust them. I’ve said this to Max and I’ll say it to you: Leif Donnelly is the most utterly Slytherin person I’ve ever met.”

“Speaking of Max-”

“We are not getting into that right now.”

“Fine.” She hadn’t seen Zoey in one of these rants very often, but she knew she had good intentions-she’d never had a younger sibling, so she was very protective of her younger cousin. Victoria was able to stop herself from saying that  _ actually, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin could balance each other out nicely in a relationship, and I know he’s not perfect but he’s fully aware of that himself. _

It then occurred to her that this power may have given Zoey more information than she herself had gained in last night’s conversation. Leif had seemed completely honest last night, but  _ who really knew? _ She trusted him. She wanted to trust him, and asking Zoey what he’d sung would be a huge invasion of privacy, but maybe she was strongly against him for a reason-

Her thoughts were cut off by amazement: the transparent, colorful walls of SPRQpoint were now in their sight. Victoria was in awe of the architecture of the building, but filled with dread at the knowledge of just who was inside.  _ Now what? _ She looked over at Zoey, who had seemed to pull herself together.

“The point is, I heard you sing to him, which means that the universe is telling me that I have to do something about it.”

A few more seconds passed in silence. In her shock at receiving the information, Victoria had been extremely jealous at first-she’d give anything to learn people’s true motivations, and through musical numbers no less-but she was just now starting to see how much this was weighing on her cousin, especially in addition to everything else going on.

“That must be a lot.”

“You have no idea.” Zoey then looked up at her cousin, searching her expression, and amended her statement: “To be honest, though, it seems that you also know what it’s like to express feelings that you weren’t supposed to.”

Victoria smiled in sympathy and nodded slightly. They were walking through the building’s courtyard now, surrounded by people in blazers holding coffee. As they walked past a bike rack (which seemed as industrial and technologically advanced as a bike rack could possibly be), the younger woman was taking it all in for the first time. She was scanning people’s faces and admiring the topiary when, not quite paying attention, she bumped into someone-

Blue eyes widened and blonde eyebrows raised, the scar slightly below the left coming with them.

_ Oh, God. _

“...Victoria.”

There was something melodic in the way he said her name-Vic _ tor _ ia. His voice danced around it, even if he didn’t intend it to- _ which he definitely didn’t, Tori, he was crying over someone else just last night. This is the voice of a man who's just remembered something. He  _ had _ forgotten about you. _

The act of those words forming in her mind didn't hurt.

Not at all.

She didn’t know how much time had gone by with no one saying a word, but at some point Zoey had grabbed her arm and briskly led her away and into the building.

“If the secondhand embarrassment that people must have felt on the day I glitched was anything like that, I feel like I need to apologize to everyone again.”

“I didn’t-he was-”

She couldn’t speak.

_ Damn those eyes. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, if anyone can name the other JTG song referenced you get a rhetorical cookie. I kind of have an idea of where I'm going now; the two alternate ZEP universes that Tori lives in in my mind are sort of coming together and we'll see how it goes


	4. take my advice and run while you still can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> piano nerdery, awkward situations, and a new development in the powers (HOW DO YOU WRITE A CHAPTER SUMMARY).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uses a quote from William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and lyrics from R&H's "Falling in Love with Love"

The SPRQpoint building was _gorgeous_. Light streamed through massive windows, the color scheme was perfectly cultivated, there were staircases everywhere; because of it, Victoria found it hard to breathe.

Well, it was either that or the idea that she’d soon have to face the consequences of kissing an almost-stranger in a karaoke bar.

Neither woman said a word until the elevator doors had closed. The taller of them closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall, trying to steady herself.

_Remember, this is still your first day at a new job. Just put it aside until after you’ve talked to Joan, and you’ll be fine. Everything is fine. Everything is absolutely fine._

“Are you going to be okay?”

She looked down at Zoey, who had worry in her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was add herself to her cousin’s already heaping pile of people to take care of, so she straightened her posture and tried to smile.

“Life has to go on somehow. I’ll figure out how to talk to him.”

There was a time when Zoey would have accepted that as an answer and gone back into her own mind, but her worried expression stayed put for a few more seconds until the doors opened and they had to step out into the blinding light of the fourth floor.

They walked through the arches that led to the bullpen and Zoey led them into a structure that was apparently an office, but looked more like something out of a woodland fairy playset that Victoria had cherished as a child.

“This place is _incredible_.”

Zoey smiled at her and knocked on the side of what would be a door, and the woman Victoria had seen but not met last night (was it really _last night_?) looked up from her laptop.

“You must be Victoria.”

She nodded and Joan stood up to offer a handshake, which she took.

_We’re exactly the same height._

_Why did I notice that?_

“It’s nice to meet you,” the younger woman said. “Zoey has told me a lot about you.”

Joan gave a questioning look to her employee, who shrugged and launched into a nervous speech.

“Do you want me to give her a tour? She won’t be able to meet everyone today-Simon is out in Vegas, and there are a few others gone, but she should at least see the space...”

Joan’s watch signaled that a text had been sent, and she looked at it before absentmindedly flicking away Zoey’s question.

“Just send her down to the lobby and show her the piano; she can meet everyone later. Do you have anything prepared?”

Victoria guessed that Joan was addressing her, although she was still looking at her watch and typing a response.

_Seeing as I just found out that this job existed today, you wouldn’t expect me to. Such is the life of a musician..._

“Yes.”

“Great.” Joan sent whatever she had written and looked up. “I guess there might be time for a quick tour; there’s elevator trouble and Ava said they’re not coming for a few more minutes. Come on.”

“Wait, who’s coming in a few minutes?”

Joan seemed not to hear Zoey and walked briskly out of her office, followed closely by the other two women. Zoey gave her cousin a look of “good luck” as she sat at her desk, and Victoria smiled back-her new boss was certainly a force to be reckoned with. As much as she often enjoyed the karaoke bar, this was absolutely a step up.

“As Zoey told you, we’ve just acquired a grand piano for the lobby. You won’t be able to miss the sight of it. Now, I’ve got an extremely important meeting coming up, so I’ll go over everything with you later, but I’m sure you’ll be fine on your own for a while. If Zoey trusts you, then so do I.”

Joan had now stopped walking and looked her in the eye, and Victoria stopped with her and looked back in surprise.

“Thank you.”

Joan nodded and smiled slightly before looking back at her watch. She typed something out and Victoria stood there awkwardly, not sure what she wanted, before Joan looked back up and made eye contact.

“Is there something else you need?”

“Oh-I-nothing. Thank you.” She smiled nervously and made her way to the elevator, pressing the “down” button and waiting for it to light up.

The elevator doors opened, and a group of people dressed mostly in black walked out. The woman that led them seemed just a bit familiar to Victoria, but she couldn’t place where she’d seen her before. This woman, presumably Ava, was flanked by Max and Leif _(crap crap crap),_ and every one of the group had a face of stone. Victoria tried to catch Leif’s eye, but froze when she did; he looked down at her as if she had shaken him out of something, as if he was just as unsure of how to proceed.

Watching the coders walk through the arch that extended past the elevators reminded her of a group of spies in an action movie walking away from an explosion. Joan seemed to be the only one on the fourth floor who’d expected them; the rest of the coders were suspicious, Victoria noted, especially a man in a rolling chair who was looking toward Leif with...something she couldn’t describe.

Joan and Ava directed their employees to sit on a staircase facing the bullpen, and each floor took a side. The two women started a speech about how they’d decided to stop the competition between floors and work on the Chirp together. There were mixed reactions, but what drew Victoria’s eye was Zoey’s face: the same she’d seen at lunch today, the same she’d seen at the bar last night. Someone was singing.

Most of the time, Zoey was looking at Max, who stared straight forward, holding the same expression with which he’d stared into his empty glass last night. _I thought that at least he would be sober enough to remember. Maybe he just didn’t care..._

She sighed. Ava and Joan had finished their joint speech, and the employees of both floors had seemed to warm up to each other. Victoria watched as Leif walked up to the man who’d been in the rolling chair and offered a handshake. The other coder, presumably the aforementioned best friend, shook his head and smiled before taking it and pulling Leif into a hug. Zoey looked over at them and smiled slightly, and Victoria grinned before stepping into the elevator.

Just before the doors closed, Leif caught her eye and attempted to wave to her, and she smiled awkwardly and waved back.

\----

This was _the best piano she had ever played_.

She couldn’t help but rant about it on the streetcar ride back to Zoey’s apartment (she wanted her to meet Mo so the three of them could discuss the powers further), even though all that Zoey could do was smile and nod. How could she not go on and on, when it’s not only a _grand_ but a _Blüthner grand_ , with one of the _warmest and most refined sounds she’d ever heard_ , and it’s _made of clear plexiglass so you can see all of the inner workings, Zoey,_ and _oh my god how did they even get one of these!!!!!!_

Approximately seven minutes later, she ran out of breath and looked over at her cousin, who was staring at her with a completely blank expression.

“Okay, I’ve been enough of a nerd, it’s officially your turn. Tell me about that new planet they found; I saw that in the news a while ago.”

The streetcar stopped, and Zoey suppressed the obvious mountain of thoughts that had started to glow in her eyes.

“Maybe tonight.”

They stepped off of the car and entered the apartment. As they went up the staircase, a voice floated down, absentmindedly humming a mournful tune.

“I hope that Mo is in a place where he’ll be able to meet you.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Let’s just say that all three of us have no clue what we’re doing at the moment when it comes to relationships.”

Victoria nodded as they reached the door to Mo’s apartment, and Zoey knocked. The door opened and the neighbor stepped out, resplendent as always but with a clear air of annoyance.

“Zo-Zo, I told you, I’m done talking about-oh, hi.”

“Mo, this is my cousin Victoria; I think I’ve mentioned her earlier.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Saying this, the younger woman put her hand out and Mo shook it, taking her in.

“Zoey tells me you’re studying musical theatre?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank the Lord that there’s finally someone in this building who appreciates music. Come in, both of you.”

Victoria was awestruck by Mo’s apartment, filled to the brim with colorful chairs and aesthetic-worthy coffee tables. She took a mental snapshot while looking around at the walls, which were covered in tapestries, paintings, and a painstakingly organized arsenal of records. Mo smirked when he saw the girl’s envious expression.

“I haven’t added a lot to the collection lately, but I’m _very_ proud of it.”

“I would be, too. This place is incredible-everyone should have a space that expresses as much as possible about who they are.”

Mo nodded and turned pointedly to Zoey.

“See, Miss Third-Grade-Science-Fair, she gets it.”

Zoey stuck her tongue out at him and Victoria laughed. _I never would have thought Zoey would have a friend like this-I guess that’s just what the power does._

_Speaking of the power-_

“What did you two need?” Mo’s voice came from the apartment’s kitchen.

“Joan hired her to play piano in the SPRQpoint lobby, and I told her about the power in hopes that she might be able to help me further at work. She only found out earlier this afternoon, so I thought you might be able to help her understand it better.”

“Of course.” Mo emerged from the kitchen with three cups of tea and they all sat on couches that were too comfortable for words.

“Have you heard her sing anything yet?”

The two cousins looked at each other and slowly nodded at Mo, realizing that they’d have to explain that situation along with everything else.

“What was it?”

A few moments of silence passed. Mo looked at them suspiciously.

“What was it, and who was it directed to?”

Victoria took a breath and looked up.

“Have you ever heard of Dodie?”

“Of course. She’s the type you’d put on while working, only to realize that you can’t possibly focus if you’re having an existential crisis accompanied by ukulele.”

“Precisely.” She took another moment, staring vacantly into her cup of tea, before confessing once again: “Absolutely Smitten.”

“...and, if I’m judging by your faces, the ‘handsome stranger’ is someone it definitely shouldn’t be.”

“You’ve got that right,” Zoey scoffed.

Mo raised his eyebrows, silently asking once more who it was.

More silence passed before Zoey spoke up again.

“Do you remember when we were at Simon and Jessica’s engagement party?”

Mo nodded, a flash of pain crossing his eyes. _Is this where the apparently troubled relationship started?_

Zoey went on: “I don’t know if you saw them, but most of my coworkers were there. There was one who you’d know by his height-”

“The one with a suit that he managed to pull off despite it giving off the vibes of a burnt gingerbread man?”

Zoey nodded curtly as Victoria tried to hold back a laugh.

“That’s the one.”

“What did you say his name was?”

“Leif Donnelly,” Victoria cut in. Mo looked at her, already able to tell that she was in too deep simply by the way she said his name.

“Oh, honey.”

Zoey looked between the two and felt the need to inform Mo further.

“This is the coworker who couldn’t take any negative criticism during peer reviews, the one who betrayed his best friend to seduce his boss and get ahead in the workplace.”

Mo looked back at Victoria with wide eyes.

“I formally rescind my ‘oh, honey’.”

“No, that’s not it at all,” Victoria said hurriedly.

_Isn’t that exactly what happened, though? Why do I feel that I have to defend him?_

_“Things base and vile, holding no quantity, love can transpose to form and dignity. Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”_

“I mean...yeah, those are the events that took place.”

Then she remembered his face up on that stage, the pain with which he’d knocked back each drink, the genuine remorse in his voice as he told her what he’d done.

Didn’t Zoey see him with his friend earlier that day? And what was this about peer reviews? _That’s a terrible practice anyway._ And last night-didn’t she see him crying?

“He did those things and he regrets them. I promise you that he does. We talked last night, and you have to believe that he was being honest. He knows full well that he has flaws, and he’s seriously hurting.”

Mo considered this before turning back to Zoey.

“It’s like I told Simon last week. Hurt people hurt people.” He looked back at Victoria. “But you have to be careful too. This was only last night?”

They nodded.

“You don’t really know him.”

As Victoria tried to think of how to respond, she suddenly heard strings out of nowhere. Startled, she turned to Zoey, who had the same expression. Mo got up from his couch, and-

“ _Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe._ ”

“Whaaaaaaaaat the-”

“You can hear it too?”

She nodded, dumbstruck.

“ _Falling in love with love is playing the fool!_ ”

Mo sashayed around the couches, draping himself over them dramatically.

“ _Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy._ ”

Zoey looked back and forth frantically between the singer and the one being sung to.

“How can you be hearing this? Did-did you hear Max sing last night?”

“No, but it would make sense if he did.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Victoria said, barely able to speak for surprise as Mo sat in between the cousins on the couch and delivered the next line straight to her.

“ _Learning to trust is just for children in school._ ”

“I feel like this isn’t completely about me and Leif.”

“I think you’re right.”

Mo proved their hypothesis with the next few lyrics, gracefully swishing around his cup of tea as he lamented what he thought were his mistakes.

“ _I fell in love with love one night when the moon was full...I was unwise with eyes unable to see! I fell in love with love, with love everlasting, but love fell out_ ”-here he dramatically flumped backwards onto the couch and held out the last note-“ _with me!_ ”

After an instrumental flourish, Mo came back into reality and looked between the two cousins’ bewildered expressions.

“Did I sing something?”

They nodded in unison, not even looking at each other.

“Okay, don’t make this a ginger version of _The Shining_ . Just tell me what it was and how _both of you_ were somehow able to hear it.”

“I’m really not sure-this is the first one I’ve heard.”

“Other songs have taken place while she was present-Joan and Ava sang one, so did Max-but if this was the first one you’ve heard…”

“...it must have been because it was sung directly to me.”

Mo blinked and looked between them again.

“Horror-movie-worthy cousin intuition aside, this is a fascinating development in the power. It must have something to do with the fact that you’re related.”

Victoria nodded, still struck, and the three of them sat there for a while longer before Zoey spoke again.

“So...what do we do with this?”

The younger woman blinked into her mug a few times before taking a long breath and a much longer sip of tea.

“I have no clue. All I know for sure is that I am absolutely, utterly-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert electric guitar chord here*. Hope you enjoyed!!! There will be some time jumps in the next two chapters and I still don't know quite how to handle them but you'll see-all I know for sure is that the song of her namesake will show up somewhere (rip if you've come into this not knowing jukebox the ghost, but I highly recommend them)


	5. as two hearts started dancing, a new story begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a much-needed conversation is had, and the song of her namesake (no I absolutely didn't name this character after this song what are you talking about no siree not me) is sung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so for the sake of time I put an extra week in between 11 and 12 (the only things that happened directly after 11 in this universe are Joan's promotion and Leif's return to the fourth floor). this one was finished really quickly because Escapism Is My Coping Mechanism soooooooooooo ENJOY!!! (lyrics from Victoria by Jukebox the Ghost-and if you haven't seen MTG's performance of it, I highly recommend it)

She had to talk to him, that much was clear. The only question was _how_.

She spent the weekend trying to understand her new role in Zoey’s life and the world of SPRQpoint, practicing Debussy and constantly worrying.

_I haven’t contacted him. I basically just kissed and ran-how irresponsible is that? How could I have gotten to him anyway? It’s not like Zoey has his number or anything._

In a moment of courage, she had followed him on Instagram.

He had followed her back almost immediately.

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!._

_I miss him. I literally spent one single hour talking with this person and I miss him as if he’s a part of my soul._

_How pathetic is that?_

She tried to let the matter rest in her mind by deciding to try to talk to him during the lunch break on Monday. Since no one really ate in the lobby during that time, she wasn’t playing, so she could try to find him.

The next day came and she almost lost all nerve when she actually caught sight of him carrying his bike helmet through the lobby. He was looking toward the piano the whole time- _looking for me? Did we have the same idea?_

He smiled when he saw her and started on his way toward the Blüthner grand.

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-_

“Leif, hi!” _I sound too excited. Tone it down. Or don’t-do I sound too excited? My God, I sound like a middle schooler with a crush._

“Hi.”

Silence.

_saysomethingsaysomethingSAYSOMETHING-_

He said something.

“Do you want to go to lunch?”

_HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP._

“Uh-yeah, definitely. It’ll be good to...to talk.”

He nodded.

“To talk.”

Neither of them made a move.

_I should probably stand up. Why haven’t I stood up?_

She stood up and fumbled to grab her bag. Through that motion, her mind couldn’t help but flash back to a few nights before, when she had fumbled in the same way to grab the same bag, her face still burning from the warmth of the hand that would have held it.

_Ooooooookay, Tori. If you’re going to have a genuine conversation about your relationship, I wouldn’t recommend reminiscing about what it was like to kiss him._

_...Aaaaaaaaand now I’m thinking about that._

During the time she’d been lost in her thoughts, they had somehow managed to walk out of the building and they were currently making their way through the courtyard, only to stop when they realized that they hadn’t even decided where to eat.

_This is just going swell._

“So where do you want to go?”

“There’s this...coffeeshop where I usually go for lunch.” He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. “The one that’s a few blocks from here, The Attic. Have you ever been there?”

 _...Yes._ So he really _hadn’t_ seen them on Friday.

“Yeah, I love their smoothies.”

“They make a good panini sandwich.”

She nodded in agreement. _How on earth did we go from never feeling wanted to panini sandwiches?_

They were well on their way now, and he was still holding his bike helmet even though they were far from the bike rack.

_If he had decided earlier to go to lunch with me, he might not have brought his helmet downstairs. Am I overthinking this?_

Someone in front of them held the door open, which thankfully prevented either of them from having to. _We can’t let this feel like a date. Is it a date? Do I want it to be a date?_ _Yes, without question._ _But does he?_

_I’m definitely overthinking this._

They found a table by the window, the same one where she and Zoey had sat the other day. Victoria sat down, setting her bag next to her just as she had on that day, and looked up to find that Leif’s eyes hadn’t left her.

_Ohhhhhh my God. This is going to be…_

He awkwardly, _adorably_ laughed himself out of his thoughts.

_...this is going to be extremely difficult._

_Best to just address the massive, lemonade-flavored elephant in the room._

“So I kissed you on Thursday.”

He seemed startled, but nodded as if to prepare himself for the conversation ahead.

“You did.”

“And I shouldn’t have.”

“No, you should have.”

“Exactly, I shouldn’t have, it was way out of-”

_Wait a minute._

“I’m sorry, _what_?”

He smirked and tried not to laugh, unsure of how to react to her flabbergasted expression.

“I mean-if you’re not-I know you really loved her-but if you- _what_ ?” A flash of _what if Zoey and Mo were right?_ passed through her mind, and she was able to process it soon enough to harden her voice: “I don’t want to be a rebound.”

He nodded, and his expression became as serious and genuine as it had been during their conversation that night.

“You wouldn’t be. We don’t have to-I was just saying-it wasn’t-there’s-”

“There’s something there.”

“There’s absolutely something!”

They both laughed aloud, sharing in the absurdity of their situation before what they were saying really hit them.

“So…”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll still need some time.”  
“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

“I don’t want to make you feel like you have to wait for me.”

“I want to.” There was a pause. “It’s perfectly reasonable considering that we’ve only known each other for five days, even if we have shared our deepest secrets.”

They sat there for a moment, unable to do anything but smile. After a few moments, another realization came to Victoria.

“We should probably order lunch.”  
“Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

\----

The next week seemed to pass at the speed of light. Leif had moved back to the fourth floor, and they often ate lunch together (as _friends_ , which was completely fine with both of them; Victoria really didn’t understand where Max was coming from there). She was starting to get to know the rest of the programmers on the fourth floor and to settle into the world of SPRQpoint, and she absolutely loved it.

Lately, Zoey had had to stay late to work on a huge amount of new projects. Joan had apparently been focusing a lot more on her for some reason, as if preparing her for something that Zoey wasn’t quite sure of, and Victoria was used to this by now. During these nights, she would stay in the lobby, working on compositions and admiring the skyline.

She thought tonight would be no different. There was something almost magic in the way the lights of the buildings outside shone through the windows of the darkened lobby and bathed it all in color, the way the piano echoed through the peaceful silence; she knew she would never tire of it.

Tonight, playing the last few chords of one of her favorite pieces, that magic felt even more present. The last thing she expected was a soft, awestruck burst of applause.

She turned around to find Leif standing behind her, smiling at her with something in his expression that she’d never before seen directed towards her.

“What was that?”

“Greig’s _Notturno_. I learned it in eighth grade and fell absolutely in love with it.”

“I can see why.”

_His eyes are so blue in this light._

_No one’s ever smiled at me like that before._

_TORI STOP IT._

“How’s Zoey doing?”

“She’s still up there, working on something with Joan.” His eyebrow twitched, betraying a quick flash of irritation as he muttered, “I’m still not completely sure what’s been going on with them for the past few days. Did I miss anything while I was on the sixth floor?”

“Not that I would know. But Zoey also acknowledged that there seems to be something going on.”

He nodded. A few moments of silence passed, the air shifted, and Victoria said the next sentence without quite knowing why.

“It seems like a lot is about to change.”

He looked back at her with some sort of intensity in his eyes. _Not icy per se, definitely not “cold and malicious”, more...decisive. Like he’s just accepted something._ Once he seemed to have decided on whatever this was, he shook his head and smiled again in the way that lit a fire in her.

_Really, Tori? “Lit a fire”?_

She shook her head, trying to clear it.

“The Tony nominations are coming out soon.”

“I’m absolutely not ready.”

She laughed, thinking back to her conversation with Tobin a few days earlier- _oh, he’s always been a nerd for that stuff, not to mention that my boy’s got serious pipes_ -and the way that Leif had grinned while overhearing it. They had started discussing the genius of Sondheim’s lyrics, and Tobin had stood behind his friend and winked in Victoria’s direction.

“What is it?”

“Just...remembering something.”

They had been walking around the lobby, taking in the sight that was already familiar to Victoria and must have been boring to Leif, but the look on his face made it clear that it was anything but. They reached the window and stared out of it for a few moments in a comfortable silence, just... _being_.

She met his eye in the window’s reflection, and he smiled with a spark that she’d never noticed. Something swelled inside of her, and-

_Chromatic scale from G4 to D5. G4, A4. Chromatic scale from G4 to G5, holding out the final note as the left hand comes in with a staccato E flat major arpeggio._

_Wait, what?_

She heard the piano across the room somehow carrying out the fireworks that went off in her brain, one musical thought after another, never stopping. This was a song that she’d never heard, and yet it seemed completely familiar. The introduction seemed right to end and there was a pause. Left dizzy, Victoria wondered if there was anything else in store.

“ _Victoria approached me with a fire in her eyes-”_

She suddenly found herself turned face to face with the man next to her.

“ _And I swear, and I swear I was burnin’ alive.”_

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as he sang-he was _singing to her, actually singing to her_ -before something seemed to explode with the next chord and he danced into the center of the lobby.

“ _And now you cry wolf out to the moon-_ ”

He dramatically whipped off his cardigan and rolled up his shirtsleeves in time with the music, seeming absolutely struck by each chord.

_...Thank you, MRI machine._

“ _Yeah, is anybody there, or am I just as scared as you?_ ”

Something compelled her to twirl toward him, making her glad that she’d gone for a La La Land-esque look that day. _If this is a heartsong, I’m apparently part of it._

“ _And now you’ve given me a mission to do.”_

As they circled each other with sweeping steps, she let herself fall completely into the song. Getting over her shock, she started to actually hear the lyrics, and she laughed in a joyful disbelief.

“ _I’ve gotta rearrange the stars so that they’re not as far from you!_ ”

Their dances mirrored each other and each twirled the other around in turn. _I never thought I’d dance with him again._

“ _But you are certainly my poison of choice!_ ”

He staggered and spun backwards, never breaking eye contact.

_A small chromatic scale, up and down on a different interval in each hand._

“ _And I know you’ve had your fair share of boys._ ”

As they started to dance up a staircase, she finally caught sight of the piano and who was standing next to it. Zoey’s eyes were wide, silently asking her cousin whether she was hearing the song, and Victoria nodded, smiling brightly.

“ _But you are certainly my poison of choice!_ ”

Leif slid down the railing of the staircase as he held out the last word. Victoria followed him down and was caught and twirled. She heard Zoey’s laugh from behind them, one that wasn’t quite sure how to react. As they danced toward the piano, she managed to catch her cousin’s eye and they communicated a million thoughts through a few facial expressions.

“ _And when I drink you down, my heart makes a sound like…_ ”

She slid onto the piano bench, repeating the arpeggio.

“ _...this._ ”

He took a spot on the bench and smiled at her, stopping time for a moment before they launched into the second verse.

“ _Victoria approached me with a fire in her eyes, and I swear, and I swear I was burnin’ alive!”_

The growl in his voice made her hands shake, but they still somehow carried out the accompaniment that she’d never heard in her life. It was as if the song was meant to be played, and she was meant to play it.

“ _And you are causing me physical pain; it’s like you’ve handed me a knife, and from my insides, without any shame!_ ”

He had burst away from the bench and started to circle the piano with a captivating energy that could only be described as _electric_ , just as electric as the octave jumps and rippled chords that supported it.

“ _But you are certainly my poison of choice, and I know you’ve had your fair share of boys-but you are certainly my poison of choice!”_

He slid-almost seemed to fall-on the bench next to her. She started to harmonize with the chorus and play a small improv bit after each sung line, relishing in the musical conversation that was being spontaneously carried out. It was lucky that the piece had seemed to find a home in her muscle memory, because she didn’t think she could ever tear her eyes away from his.

“ _And when I drink you down, my heart makes a sound._ ”

She felt the impulse to stand up and turn around, placing herself between the piano and the singer as the keys continued to play themselves.

 _“Yeah, when I drink you down…_ ”

She bent backwards over the music stand on the piano, and he followed, singing the next line against her neck.

“ _My heart makes a sound!_ ”  
He sprang backwards at the sound of the next chord and she was able to catch her breath in time to spin sideways and outside of the piano, performing almost balletic turns around its perimeter.

“ _When I drink you down, my heart makes a sound, my heart makes a sound like…_ ”

_chord, octave-_

_chord, octave-_

_clap._

Their eyes locked, confirming that _this is happening outside of the heartsong, too._ _And if there was a heartsong in the first place...this is actually what he’s feeling._

If there had to be any more proof that this was real, the warmth of his hand on her face was all she needed.

The opportunity presented itself to take the same action as Thursday night, an opportunity which she wholeheartedly accepted. She had become somewhat aware of the sensation that there was a wall behind her by the time she heard Zoey’s faraway voice.

“What...the…”

Her smile grew against his. _What the, indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did I end two chapters in a row with the electric guitar cut? yes and what of it (please excuse the absurd amount of self-indulgence) (also please go listen to Grieg's Notturno because it'll take your breath away)


	6. epilogue: the only one I want is you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> three months later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up kids it's gonna get sad (please please please listen to unusual way as sung by Laura Benanti, you'll cry your eyes out) (it's from the musical Nine)

The next few weeks passed in an almost indistinguishable blur. The biggest question in Victoria’s life seemed to be how to deal with her addition to her cousin’s powers-that is, until both of their worlds were shattered again.

The music itself didn’t die, but that was absolutely what it felt like.

There was a glitch in the power that had only occurred twice in which all of it was transferred to the younger cousin for one day. It was a few days after-well,  _ after _ , because for all of her supposed emotional intelligence she’d been informed of through the years, she still couldn’t say it. Since it was during the time when anyone who could stay at Aunt Maggie’s house did, her family was the only group whose thoughts she heard, and it was a day she’d never forget.

She had never pinned Zoey for a soprano, but her older cousin’s rendition of “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” was the most heartbreaking thing she’d ever heard.

A week after that, her second cousin, Peter Mitchell Clarke-Kang, was born. He was a ray of hope in a seemingly hopeless time for the family, and Victoria noted that more tears of every emotion imaginable were shed during those few weeks than she’d ever seen. She had never felt closer to her family than when their hearts were broken and mended together.

During the summer, Victoria stayed with Zoey in her apartment, watching  _ Jurassic Park _ far too many times, babysitting for David and Emily, and having late-night jam sessions with Mo across the hall. After graduation, she booked a role at an incredible dinner theater in the Los Angeles area, and learned that rehearsals would start in September. While excited beyond words, she knew she’d miss her current life desperately, and she vowed to spend the next few months soaking up as much of the people and places of San Francisco as she could.

As for SPRQpoint, she tried to help her older cousin navigate her transition into Joan’s former position and her slight disaster of a love life. As the leader of the fourth floor, Zoey tried to integrate more team-building activities, which led to their  _ Jurassic Park _ viewings being joined by the rest of them (and if Leif and his flawless Malcom impression were part of it, she wouldn’t say anything against it).

The movement of Zoey into Joan’s old job and Leif into Zoey’s was...awkward, to say the least (although it was  _ extremely _ entertaining, on the day of another glitch, to witness their performance of “What Is This Feeling” across the conference room table). It got better, though, as they worked together on more projects, and both of them confided in Victoria, who often jokingly called them narrative foils.

She had finally met Simon, who she thought was wonderful. Zoey had been overwhelmed by the complicated love triangle situation she’d found herself in (Max seemed to have finally taken Victoria’s advice at this point), but all of it went to the back burner after…

_ After Mitch’s passing. Just say it. You have to be able to say it-everyone’s depending on you. How can you help them if you’re grieving too? _

It had been three months, and these thoughts were still prevalent. She was sitting in a hanging chair next to the- _ what was it this week? _ -froyo bar. Her beloved Blüthner was being tuned today, so she was hanging out on the fourth floor, currently watching Tobin with a slightly horrified awe as he piled topping after topping onto his massive froyo creation. She looked around at each of the employees, pondering how each of their dessert choices reflected who they were.

_ Weird. _

_ Well, I’ve got to keep my mind off of the endless spiral of grief and self-deprecation somehow, right? _

“Are you okay?”

She felt her chair being spun and came face to face with Leif, who was holding a sensible portion of cherry yogurt topped with chocolate shavings.

“About as okay as I can be.”

He sat in a chair next to hers and she couldn’t help but smile as he cocked his head, inviting her to speak the same way he had all those weeks ago.

“I don’t know how to be there for everyone while I’m still reeling from the loss. Zoey was obviously much closer to Uncle Mitch than I was, and although my addition to her power constantly causes the feeling that I have to take care of everyone, I know she feels that even more, so I can’t really complain.”

“What power?”

_...Shit. _

_ Chalk that up to another edition of “Tori is honest about her feelings and disaster strikes”. _

A text notification went off, saving her.

“Sorry, it-it’s Zoey.”

He nodded, his eyebrows and the scar below them showing a bit of concern.

**How are things going?**

She wasn’t sure how to answer Leif’s question, especially without her cousin’s knowledge. She studied his face, his inquisitive eyes, that scar-he deserved the truth.

**You have to tell Leif.**

Her phone showed Zoey typing for quite a long time, then backspacing, then typing again before the surprisingly short message finally came through.

**Why?**

She kept typing.

**I know that you’re in love and everything, and I feel like he’s more trustworthy now, but it’s still risky.**

**It’ll always be risky. I think this one is worth it. I have to leave in a week, and now that you’re working together more, he might be able to help you when I can’t.**

There was a pause.

**Fine.**

She looked back up at Leif.

“Zoey...has something to tell you. At some point. Soon.”

“Does this have anything to do with your moving?”

She groaned, falling back into her chair.

“Don’t remind me.”

Leif swung his chair over and took her hand in an attempt to comfort her, and she positively melted.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

He smiled and shook his head, as if thinking the same thing.

“I’m not at all experienced in being... _ there _ for people, and I’ve never been great at emotions, but what I do know is that you’re allowed to grieve. You’ve done  _ so _ much during these four months. You deserve to be taken care of, too.”

She squeezed his hand.  _ Yet another sentence I’ve never heard before. _ He smiled again, his voice lowering.

“I certainly don’t know where I’d be right now without you.”

Something inside of her fluttered, and she leaned against his shoulder.

“You’re gonna make me cry.”

\----

She wasn’t wrong.

A week later, she was sitting with Zoey and Leif at the entrance to an airport. The registration and ticket machines were down, so the lobby was filled with travelers, most of whom were anxious and greatly impatient. Victoria felt exactly the opposite-she wanted these final few moments to last as long as possible.

_ You’ve only been at SPRQpoint for four months, how is it hurting so badly to leave? _

She turned to her left and her hazel eyes met the indescribable blue that she’d loved from the beginning.

_ Okay, that’s how. _

The bubbly, annoyingly repetitive pop song that played over the speakers slowly morphed into a low, reflective arpeggio. Victoria perked up-she knew this song, she had for a long time. This was a song that she had used for her college auditions, and she was surprised that it was playing over an airport intercom... _ unless it wasn’t _ .

“ _ In a very unusual way, I think I’m in love with you. _ ”

Once, while Mo was having dinner at Zoey’s apartment, he had said something to her while Victoria was coming back from the bathroom: “If Autumn has young Kristin Chenoweth vibes, your cousin is a young Laura Benanti”. Victoria wasn’t meant to hear it, but she had smiled and taken a moment before reentering the room.

“ _ In a very unusual way, I want to cry. _ ”

It would only make sense if a song that her inspiration had performed so perfectly was her last heartsong.

_ But if I’m aware that I’m singing it- _

_...this is a duet. _

She stood slowly as the airport lights dimmed and, after a moment, sensed that Leif had stood up behind her.

“ _ Something inside me grows weak… _ ”

Arms wrapped around her waist from behind, holding them together.

“ _...something inside me surrenders, and you’re the reason why. _ ”

She turned around, looking at him more intensely than she ever had, as if trying to drink in every detail of his face and never forget it.

“ _ You’re the reason why! You don’t know what you do to me-you don’t have a clue. _ ”

A swell in the music propelled her to lean in closer than she had ever thought possible, and they clung to each other as if each needed the other like oxygen. In the back of Victoria’s mind-the part that wasn’t taken over by the heartsong-she wondered what Zoey would think of the sight.

“ _ You can’t tell what it’s like to be me looking at you. _ ”

As the bridge tapered into a decrescendo, she just barely pulled away for a breath, singing almost in a whisper.

“ _ It scares me so that I can hardly speak _ .”

She’d suspected all day that she would cry, but she wasn’t prepared for the vulnerability of the tears that would come when her lyrical soprano was joined by Leif’s tenor in a countermelody.

“ _ In a very unusual way, I owe what I am to you. _ ”

“ _ Oh, what you have done for me… _ ”

“ _ Though at times it appears I won’t stay, I never go. _ ”

“ _...as always before… _ ”

“ _ Special to me in my life- _ ”

“ _ Special to me... _ ”

“ _ -since the first day that I met you. _ ”

“ _...since that first day. _ ”

“ _ How could I ever forget you once you had touched my soul? _ ”

When their voices finally came together in unison, as cheesy as she knew it sounded, Victoria felt like something above had opened. She’d always thought there was a divinity in this song, but this was the first time that she really  _ felt _ it.

“ _ In a very unusual way, you’ve made me whole. _ ”

The accompaniment faded out of the speakers and was gradually replaced by the music and announcements that usually came through them as the moment came back to reality. She didn’t know how long they had been holding each other in real time, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“Attention, passengers. We apologize for the delay caused by a temporary technical problem. Please approach the machines and order your tickets; you’ll find that they are once again working properly. Thank you for flying with us.”

They had to let go.

Victoria turned to Zoey and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you for everything.”

“Are you kidding? You’ve helped me through so much. Thank  _ you _ .” She pulled back and smiled, squeezing her younger cousin’s hand. “I love you.”

_ Oh god, more tears. _

“I love you too.”

She sighed and turned back to Leif.

“I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m coming to your opening night. Don’t think for a minute that I won’t.”

“I’ll be flying back to visit all the time. You’ll be sick of me.”

“Impossible.”

She laughed, and he took hold of her face and kissed her, providing a return to the feeling of that karaoke night all those months ago.

_ This is how it’s meant to be. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do I have any idea how to end a story? maybe not. Anyway this has been my coping mechanism for the last two months and I hope you lovely readers enjoyed that I took you with me-I just can't believe it's over


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